Tag Archives: Work at home Life

Success-Driven Inner Dialogue

mind processes Fact: You are talking to yourself… all the time.
During these silent, internal conversations you tell yourself to do something, ask yourself why you did something, or ask hypothetical questions like: “Did that cheesy commercial have anything to do with insurance?”

Question: Does what you are saying to yourself matter?
According to a section in “The Now Habit at Work” by Neil Fiore, Ph.D. what you say and how you say it matters very much. The book includes an interesting look at inner dialogue and how it can very easily lead to procrastination.
How? – By causing either a “stress” or “depress” response toward the idea of working any given task or project.

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. – William James

Procrastination Begins by ‘Depressing Motivation’

Using “I should to begin a self-statement is an attempt to motivate yourself to do something to make your situation better. Instead, it actually just establishes that your current situation is not OK because you ‘should’ be doing something else. Processing a lack of well-being has a tendency to depress motivation.

Using “should do” infers a lack of self-confidence or a lack of necessity. It can also imply that the statement is optional. (E.G. ‘We should all be nice to other people.’ – And we all know this is completely unrealistic and becomes mute after a bad day in nightmare traffic when that idiot in the stinky car cuts you off!) :)

Statements beginning with “I will…” or “I plan to…” or “I will enjoy the benefits of doing…” support confidence and do not hinder your current state of well-being.

To change habitual, inner dialogue:
Try choosing alternative statements with what comes most naturally and committing to practice as often as you can remember to or write them down.

Procrastination Begins By ‘Activating Stress’ From Self Talk

Using “I have to” as the precursor for a self-statement attempts to motivate with pressure, but really just successfully activates a stress response.

As a human being it is natural for us to want to avoid stress. In this modern society, we have pressure coming at us from all directions. Thus it is an act of self-preservation to use an escape key like procrastination to avoid tasks that have already been associated with stress. Unfortunately, procrastination is no real escape at all is it.

I admit, I start thoughts with this stress activating forerunner all the time…

  • I have to remember to…!
  • I have to figure out a faster way to do this…next time!
  • I have to do better on…!

Dr. Fiore recommends replacing “I have to” with “I choose to”. Saying: “I choose to work on…” does not sound natural to myself, but it may to you. I would transition easily to use “I am going to” or even “I like to”. I would acclimate better saying something like, “I like to be as efficient as possible with my email responses to spent minimal time on non-income producing tasks.”

Like I said before, we have pressure coming at us from all directions and learning how we can learn to treat ourselves regardless of the outside influence is crucial for a balanced life. It is healthy to accept human limits and more fulfilling work with success rather than forever working toward it.

talk to yourself

Thanksgiving.

The last shreds of fall hold on like the stubborn leaves on an oak tree. You rake, and rake, but when you look up you realize they are still hanging there waiting for their OWN time to drop.

This year, Thanksgiving seems like one of those leaves. We have to wait for it to come before we can spring open the gates of the Christmas season. Around here, our neighbors seem more eager than ever to get on with the season of giving. So many lights are already up, days before the turkey is served, and the sales started weeks ago.

This eagerness points to the reason Thanksgiving is so perfectly placed. It might just seem like the road bump holiday that gets shoved out of the way in a mad rush to the Christmas season, but maybe instead, we should think of it as a starting point for all we celebrate at the end of the year.

After all, how can we give, if we do not first know what we are thankful for?

This year there are many blessings that bring us thanks. Family: who love and support us in what sometimes seems like a wild adventure. Children: who are the reason for the work we do. Friends: old ones who can be with us daily to bring joy and new ones that are physically miles away but always close in our hearts. Clients: whose enthusiasm is contagious, and whose success is part of our reward.

We are thankful too, that the Internet is bringing us together in new ways. Social media is something to celebrate. It is an opportunity. And the chance to pass its power on to others is a great blessing.

Thank you for your business.

Thank you for your friendship.

And as your thanks turns into giving this season, we wish you much happiness with those you love.

I’m Admitting It! I Can’t Do It All, All The Time.

Ok…I’m admitting it!  I need a break!  Is that wrong?  Does that make me a bad Mom?  I don’t think so – everyone needs a break every now and then.  Since summer break began I’ve been juggling a very busy schedule.  I can’t speak for the rest of you Work at Home folks, but I know I try to do it all and it’s not working right now.  I needed a little time to work and focus without “Mom, can you make me a milkshake?” or “Mom, can we go swimming NOW?”  In a desperate plea for some alone time, I called my Mom to ask if the boys could come over.  Without any hesitation she said, “Sure, I’ll come get them.  We’d love to have them.”   Thank you so much to my Mom, Dad and Brother.  I have the most wonderful family anyone could ask for!  

Being a WAHM or WAHD [Work at Home Dad] as Scott Stratten aka UnMarketing made famous here… is a wonderful way of life if you can make it work for you.  And, I can see how some just give up and say I’m going back to work – as in, getting a job outside of the home.  I have a lot of respect for working moms and dads.  I have no idea how they get everything done.  I’m at home all day (usually) and I still can’t find the time to do the things that need to be done.  Even with daily chores set for my boys, some days it still looks like a tornado went right through the living room.  A schedule used to be a way of life for us here. But, as my kids get older it’s not working quite as well as it use to.  As a matter of fact, my son said just yesterday, “Um, yeah.  I’m 10 years old now – I don’t need quiet time.”  Ok, so maybe YOU don’t, but I DO! 

This summer has already been very busy for us.  I’ve taken on new clients and even kicked a few to the curb – no more time suckers for me!  On June 25th I had surgery [female issues – don’t ask ;) ] and last weekend one my 13th wedding anniversary, I was wrestling with my youngest and ended up with a broken nose!  LOL  Who would’ve ever thought a 7 yr-old could break a grownups nose?!  Him breaking my nose wasn’t the bad part…ME  having to pop my own nose back into place was.  OMG!  Talk about peeing your pants!  Ever tried to focus with a broken nose?  Not so easy to do.  It was funny, but it wasn’t, ya know?!  LOL  Oh, did I mention this weekend (July 10th ) is my birthday and July 14th is my son’s 8th birthday?  Phew!  As you can see – it’s already been a crazy summer, but you roll with the punches, right?   

The Boys and I last Christmas

Making life work as an Entrepreneur is very important to me.  I want to work from home and be here for my family.  My life as a WAHM can be hectic, but I love every moment of what I do and I wouldn’t trade my country life for one moment of city life.   

I found this article to be helpful and I’d like to share it with you – How to Work at Home Successfully . 

Exchanging the Flip-Flops & Cowboy Boots for High Heels (only for few hours)

For a few days in May, I’m trading the flip-flops and cowgirl boots for high heels.  I’ve been asked to speak at The Bob Proctor Matrixx Event (http://www.bobproctormatrixx.com/business-retreat-business-goals-wealth-accumulation/) in Canada.  Although I totally despise being called an expert, I’m going to run with it and be a guest as their Social Media Expert.  I’ll be speaking on using Social Media for Business.  Social Media is a never ending learning process.  There is something new to learn everyday and that is one reason I have a hard time with the term “expert”.

This is going to be a whole new experience for me and my family.  Mom (me) is always here to get everyone out the door.  Whether it is off to work or taking my boys to school with lunches packed, clothes ironed (or thrown in the dryer for wrinkle release ;) ), papers signed, homework checked or whatever it may be; it’s done by me!  Not that my husband wouldn’t help, it’s just never been an issue of someone else doing it.  Then I thought, “who’s going to water the garden or the flowers?”  When I approached my family about this adventure, there was nothing but quarter sized eye balls and wide opened mouths and a “are you serious”?  I stood firm and said I sure am. 

Q:  “But, Mom, who’s going to make sure all the soap is out of my hair?” 

A:  You’re planning on bathing while I’m gone?  I’m impressed.

Q:  “And who’s going to match my socks up?” 

A:  You or your Dad, or possibly MeMe?!  We’ll figure it out and y’all will make it just fine.  

Q:  “But, Mom you always take me to school and you’re the only one who drops me off at just the right time.”

After a big long discussion of who, what, when and where, my family agreed.  My boys gave me a hug and said “even though we will miss you, we’re very proud of you Momma and what you’re doing with your business and for other online business owners as well.”

I’m not a public speaker and don’t plan on starting now.  However, I do have some knowledge to offer, so why not just get up there and let it out.  I’ve been practicing on my grammar, as well.  I’ve also been trying to say “You All” instead of “Ya’ll.”  But, my husband pointed something out – “They asked YOU to speak and that’s just not YOU honey.” Oh man, he has a point.  Saying ‘Ya’ll’ is one of those things that’s just part of me being me ;)

I’ve always enjoyed being the one behind the scenes; making things flow for my clients online and obviously my family at home.  I never had any desire to “go anywhere” but after some serious thought, I decided I’m going to do this!  Yes!!  I’m going to Canada.  Am I nervous?  Hell Yeah, but I can do this for the industry.

So, here’s to all of us – entrepreneurs, online business owners, virtual assistants and small business owners for getting out there and letting it be known about what exactly we do and how important each and every one of us is.  I’ll be kicking off the flip-flips and boots for a couple of hours and wearing my big girl shoes!

Wish me luck –

Cheers!

Taking a break – Getting Away in any Small Way

           Work and play are words used to describe the same thing  under differing conditions. – Mark Twain        

      

  Mark Twain’s words are truer today than ever. The native of our home state knew that to be effective in your work life, you also need to know how to play. As you dive into social media marketing you are often mixing work with play. Personal relationships cross over into your work world. It may mean you forget the fun.

             You started this venture to be in control of your own destiny. You might have wanted to earn a little bit of extra money. You might have wanted to grow an existing business, or start fresh on your own. Now, don’t forget the fun that’s in the adventure.

            If you’re struggling with which move to make next, try getting away to figure it out. Everyone needs a break. When you get consumed in work, a step back may be the best thing for your growing business.

            You could take a virtual vacation (http://www.link4u.com/vacation.htm), but maybe you need a little more than that. Remember the world is a real place. Remember how to play. Put your actual feet in actual sand, or if you’re not able to do that, just find the best that your area has to offer and go do it. Stepping away for a few minutes, or a few days is a great way to unwind and think about what’s next.

            Play may be the best way to improve your work, and remember the enjoyment in it.

            So, our advice for this week is to check out the local “What to do” section of your newspaper. Get your family or friends together and put some extra “life” into your life. You might not be able to completely log off, but you should take time to enjoy the reward for your efforts and step back for a few days before diving into the grind again.

            Have fun.

This is who I am. This is what I do.

While attending the funeral of a very close friend’s Dad, something was brought to my attention.  After the service was over we had the opportunity to visit with friends and relatives we hadn’t seen in a while.  A friend’s Dad was chatting with my husband, small talk, you know.  Asking if we were still farming?  If my husband still worked at Dairy Farmers of America (local plant)?  Then he moved on to say,  “Is your wife working anywhere?”  After stumbling over his words for a bit, in a hesitant tone, my husband replied, “Yes.  From Home.”  My mind went crazy.  “Yes.  From Home.”  That’s all he could say?  Seeing how it wasn’t the appropriate time, I didn’t address the answer he had given nor did I smack him square in the forehead.  However, the latter of the two weighed the heaviest.

The more I thought about it, I’d never really explained it “thoroughly” to him.  I had never set him down and taken the time to tell him just exactly what it is I do.  Yes, he knows I’m a Virtual Assistant.  Yes, he knows I work from home (obviously).  Yes, he knows I have clients.  And yes, he knows I bring in an income.  But, what does all this mean?  All he knew was when he got home the house was clean, the kids were fed and in between all that, I stared at the computer screen.  If you think about it, his not knowing was my fault.  I can’t expect him or anyone else to just know what I do.  There’s even been times when I beat around the bush to answer the question of “Now what do you do?” 

After a discussion and a few clicks of the mouse, he now knows and somewhat understands what I do.  He knows I’m on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn for a reason.  He understands that Excel spreadsheets don’t have information on them unless someone puts it there.  Google AdWords, keywords & key phrases, tag words, categories & such did not interest him what-so-ever.  But, he now knows and his own terms were this – “So basically you help set-up and establish online presences. You’re the one in the background making it happen.”  YES!! You got it, babe.  So, the next time someone asks him what his wife is doing now or what his wife does, he has a great answer; one that could also bring in business.

As an entrepreneur, always thinking of ways to get more business or bring in new clients comes naturally.  Letting people know, “This is who I am. This is what I do”, simply by using the good old fashion word of mouth advertising, will make a difference.  I’ve learned to speak with confidence and self-assurance that I am an independent entrepreneur who works remotely, using technology to deliver services to clients globally.

Now for the why:  This was given to me on Valentine’s Day from my 10 year old son.  It’s the little things like this that makes me realize, “Who I am, What I do, and Why I do it”, is for all the right reasons.

I LOVE YOU
How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

I love you when – you help me

I love you when – you play with me

I love you when – you are funny

I love you when – your gone

I love you when – your here

I love you when – you love me

How do I love you?

It’s impossible to say.

For if I had a million days, and time enough for all the praise, I could never tell you all the ways…

I LOVE YOU! Happy Valentine’s Day 2010

Tucker

Thank You for letting me share with you!