Archive for October, 2006

My Final Paper – Concepts of Wellness
I’m sharing just because we are always developing something.

Introduction:

A specific lifestyle area that I would like to develop is the ability to stop worrying so much. It’s funny how some people never really realize how much they worry. As I was working through this online course, and posting messages in response to others’ posts, I began to realize how much I like to solve problems. Whether the problem was someone else’s or my own, I could plan out detailed ways of solving the problem. The only downfall was thinking upon it later and worrying: “What else could I have done or said to solve it better or quicker?” Of course this would create problems that didn’t even really exist. When I do these things, I never really realize how much time I waste. Now, I need just go with the flow more. When I worry so much about so many different things, life stops being fun and starts being another chore.

Blah, blah, blah, there was a lot of rambling here trying to cover all the bases of the paper’s requirements like:

• What specific daily actions are required to develop this ability?
• Give a time line for implementing my actions.
• How can I measure my progress for this development?
• Who will support my development? etc

If you want to develop any specific strength in your life, you can ask yourself these questions to plan your own development.

Conclusion:

This paper has been thought provoking and self-motivating. I was going over all of the things that I want to develop in my life. I want to develop as a mother, daughter, granddaughter, friend, worker, and fiancé. So, in conclusion, I must reflect and acknowledge that I have a lot of work to do to develop and find out who I am supposed to be and what my purpose is. When I really stopped and thought about what would truly improve my life. I decided I really need to develop my sense of “self”. Also, I need to stop worrying about things I can’t control. The tension in my life is causing me to be edgy and impatient. I have sort of stopped living, but the time marches on. Until recently, I have been the kind of girl who loves life and wants to live life to the fullest. I have simply let too many things stress me out.

I only get this one life to live. So why worry so much? All I can do is the very best I can and that is all.

– moved from my original blog darkbluesun.blogspot.com

Today, it really began to dawn on me. Professional women, who also happen to be mothers, are almost forced to put their jobs ahead of their kids. I never would have thought things at work would be so unsure even a month ago. I thought that by now, I would have gotten it all together balancing family and at work.

I thought that maybe I would have even been working from home by now so that I could also be there for Ryan the way I was able to be there for Haylee. (I mean, why not? I was put on call the first week I got back from maternity leave. ) I never left Haylee with another caregiver until she was a year old. And even then it was my own mother and grandmother. I was there when she first laughed, when she first crawled, and when she first walked. Ryan on the other hand, will be with daycare providers. I am not sure what will help with all the sadness, and the guilt. Tick tock goes the clock. I won’t ever be able to get these years back, and there’s really nothing I can do about it. I love community.

p.s. this week at work was pretty good. but i lived and worked over 50 hours this week. trying to “make up” for my absence with a new team is damn near impossible.

– moved from my original blog darkbluesun.blogspot.com

It’s the first day of October and it feels like fall today. We just made a big pot of chilli. I am very tired today, and I have a very long week ahead of me. I need to gather all my inner strength or else I won’t make it through the week. I guess I’m still struggling with postpartum tiredness.

– moved from my original blog darkbluesun.blogspot.com